A divorce meant Ray Sr. left and Virginia was again dancing for a living.  Ray’s grandfather, William became Ray’s closest friend.  As always, Gaitey provided both love and money to keep body and soul and boy and man together.  The speakeasy was kitty corner to the family home. On Sundays she always sat in front of her “grocery store” rosary in her hand, making sure Snikie went to mass.

An alter boy and Catholic school student, Ray continued sending his mother cards with little hand written poems.  Many signed “Snikie”.

One of Ray’s chores was to load up the hard coal bucket to heat the house.  An empty bucket showed Grandpa’s disappointment.  Ray watched as William limped out to the coal shed to do his chore.  For the remainder of his life, Ray never again let family down.

Ray witnessed uncles, aunts and cousins, take refuge in the Ash Street home when the only one to turn to for help was family. 

Ray became a resourceful little rock who grew in knowledge and cleverness.  He read adventure books, cowboy stories, how to books and apprenticed with his uncle learning how to fix and make do.  Ray voted for Roy Rogers as King of the Cowboys at the Sunday double features.

William had possession of Ray, but had no legal right.  The thought of anyone taking the boy from him terrified William.  Ray was happy, well cared for, loved and needed.  What had supposed to be a temporary stay, turned permanent when the parents recognized no one could love and care for Ray any better.

Both parents started new families and Ray visited his siblings, teasing, picking on, loving and being a big brother.  Virginia, in Point Place, was too far away, so Gaitey bought a house for the family close enough that Ray could then walk instead of take the buss to see his sisters.

By this time, Ray was starting to grow.  He grew so fast that his body was stretched up and he was now skinny and so very handsome with his smile and full head of hair. 

At 13 Ray got a job selling ice cream on a peddle bike.  He had a fright when he was held up at knife point.

As Ray got taller, he got thinner and had a head of hair like a crown of glory, girls began to notice him and he was looking back.  Since Virginia was a professional dancer, Ray took dance lessons from his mom.  Now Ray was ready for teen town, for fun, for love.

When stars line up

Bing Crosby, Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra were kings of the music scene at local teen town. 

In 1946 Ray was looking dapper and handsome and set his sights on a pretty brunette with great legs.  “Riverside Canteen” was packed with boys and girls looking for each other.  Ray was smitten with Sharon.  Though Sharon found Ray attractive, she was not so easily won.  Ray was either absolutely self confident or conceited, and Sharon wanted to find out which was true. 

Ray’s absolute sincerity, steady nature and being a true gentleman quickly overcome Sharon’s doubts.  It turns out he really could do almost anything asked of him.  Dancing, plumbing, poetry almost any topic he was well versed.  Further, he was a big man with a gentle soul.  For the petite, Sharon, who had a rough home life, Ray seemed too good to be true.  But he was for real.  He was everything she ever dreamed of in a man.

His freshman year, he wooed her with a poem written just for her.

Sharon’s’ Poem

If there ever comes a day

When you don’t remember Ray

Just open up this book

And have another look

I hope this little phrase

Will help bring back the days

When my love I did profess

And ever will confess

Was always on my mind

That’s why I tried to be so kind

As for me I’d like to say

There’ll never come a day

When you will not find me ready to be your ever faithful steady

Ray Pfaff

‘50

Central

From then on it was Ray and Sharon.  Being used to riding busses, Ray would transfer down town and then to the east side to see his girlfriend.  Sharon found Ray a deep thinker, shared his love of poetry and learned to love each others souls.  At 16 Ray was able to use a car, was a steady driver and would take along his little sister LaVie on dates. 

Resistance to dating a Catholic boy from a broken home was hard on Sharon, but she was determined.  Ray was so hooked and so much in love that he talked his grandpa and great grandma into letting him transfer from Central Catholic to Woodward so he could finish the last two years of high school with his sweetheart.  Quite a bit of salesmanship from the 16 year old.

At the prom, Ray looked mighty handsome, tall thin, strong, pompadour and white tux with black tie.  His girlfriend was voted best legs in school, and all was set for graduation.

In 1950 after graduation, with Sharon’s father adamantly against the marriage, the couple had to wait until Sharon was 18.  Ray got a job and 2 weeks after Sharon’s birthday, the couple took a borrowed car, meager funds from a first pay check and “eloped” to Angola Indiana.  Only Sharon’s father was excluded as Virginia, Ray Sr. and Leona, (Sharon’s mom) were at the ceremony.

Gaitey, always a family provider, wanted Ray and Sharon close.  She didn’t want them to pay rent. She bought them a small 20 by 40 home and had it moved to a small lot near the rest of the family.

Finally a Virginia Lee

After only 384 days of marriage, a healthy girl was born on November 4^th 1951.  They finally were able to use the name Virginia Lee. 

His job working for the railroad on the extra board, was hit or miss and money was hard to come by.  Sharon was very grateful when she an eclectic wash tub to help handle the piles of diapers. 

Lynn Louise was born 16 months later on March 21, 1953, just in time to keep the 20 year old father out of the draft for the Korean War.

Within walking distance of each other’s houses, Gaitey, Grandma Doe, Ray and Sharon would play cards late into the evening until Ray had to report to a night shift. 

The tiny house was redone by Ray so everyone could fit and the bedroom painted dark colors so Ray could sleep during the day.

Michael Ray was born December 2, 1954.  Throw in a fat beagle and the family was complete.  Again Gaitey came through when the newborn needed a blood mark removed from a knee.

In 1955 while holding Michael, the little 84 year old woman who had come to the family’s aid times without number had a stroke.  Within two days Gaitey breathed her last and Ray felt his world had ended. 

Work on the railroad was unsteady at best.  Carpentry work, odd jobs and home canning helped squeak the family through.  Hunting muskrats, turtles, rabbits and raising chickens helped feed the family.

Members of St Michael’s Ray was able to contribute his carpentry skills to offset tuition for 3 children. 

Tent camping was within the family budget and Ray was clever enough to figure how to make a trailer that doubled as a camper.  Ray’s cleverness and frugality allowed him to make attractive suitcases for his girls, a fold out kitchen for his station wagon and even bunks in his trailer. 

While Ray was working, Sharon would take the kids, beagle and assorted brothers sisters or in-laws to Wampler’s lake in Michigan.

With the help of Uncle Earl, Ray was able to get a factory job sealing cartons and the opportunity to move to California for a better life. 

In 1962, Ray and Sharon sold all their worldly possessions, packed the and headed west.  For the first time, Ray left his family and home.

The Children always come first.

Packed and ready to leave from Grandpa Creighton’s home, Ray had to stop and help his 71 your old grandpa up as he fell waiving good bye. 

Money, always tight, had to pay for gas at 19.9 cents a gallon, hotels and food.  Driving along famous Route 66, Ray stopped at the sights along the way.  There were dinosaur parks, dams, the Grand Canyon and finally the promise of California. 

Money exhausted, Lynn with the measles and no where to stay, Ray was struggling for the next meal to feed his family.  The fact that the plant opening was delayed two weeks made the situation desperate.  Again, family came through.  Grandpa Creighton and Ray Sr. sent enough money to keep the family fed, find a rental house and start the job.

Ray followed the lessons he learned from his home in the depths of the depression.  Children who are loved are rich.  Sharon had to take a job to make ends meet.  A Catholic education at St Joseph’s, rent for the house and expenses were much greater than Toledo.

The children took it all in stride and felt like millionaires.  Golden sunshine, blue skies and weekend adventure trips to nature’s wonders with only a car and a tent.  Deserts, mountains, oceans, Disney Land all were within a days drive.

Ray was determined to get ahead and started college.  Hard work, a disciplined mind, toastmasters for public speaking and good grades brought him to the attention of management.  He earned his first promotion.

More money meant more for the kids.  Ray packed a lunch, saved every nickel and bought two used bikes for 3 delighted children who had never seen such beautiful toys!

Another promotion and Ray was looking for a home of their own.  A small 3 bedroom one story home  next to a horse farm. 

Heart of butter

Now Ray was able to give his children more.  Having pigeons as a child, Ray built a pigeon coop.  Michael and he searched and found beautiful pigeons of various colors and shapes.

A smile from the girls always melted Ray’s heart and he could never say no to Sharon or the kids and stick with it for long.  Hamsters, rabbits, a guinea pig, gerbil various stray dogs and cats from time to time and giant desert tortoise and the beagle and pigeons filled up the mini zoo.

In 1964 there came a house guest.  Sharon’s little sister graduated and at 18 was invited to California  to go to college.  The converted attached garage was Gayle’s bachelorette apartment.  Having a built in babysitter allowed Ray and Sharon the peace of mind to do some socializing. 

California was a wonderful and happy time.  Ray made sure that the family toured the petrified forest, had thanksgiving dinner in a desert, stood on top of mountains, saw the wonder of Yosemite, experienced the power of the Pacific Ocean, enjoyed the attractions of Disney Land, Knots Berry Farm, and a hundred other sights, sounds and experiences. 

Toledo Bound

Ray’s hard work had earned him yet another promotion.  But this time he had to move back to Toledo.  In 1967 Ray sold his home and moved everything.

Ray shared their new home with Sharon’s grandmother Daisy Ogle for a short but exhausting time.  Emotionally worn out, Sharon took the VW bus Ray had converted to a camper on a New England color tour. 

Ray’s finest hours

In the evening of September 24, 1968 Ray picked up the phone and received word that changed life forever.   Sharon suffered a horrific auto accident.  Her life was in great peril and she may not live.  Calmly, with purpose, his mind racing, he listened.  Shielding the children as best he could, he entrusted the two girls to his mother’s care and son with life long friends Johnny and Donna Rapp.

Sharon died at the scene.  She saw the light, followed the tunnel and met Jesus.  She came back, into a living hell for the love of her husband and family.

Arriving in Bangor Maine he found a vibrant, pretty wife had been crushed.  The prettiest legs in school were shattered.  Her arm was destroyed and she was completely helpless.  She may die, she certainly would never run and may never walk again.

Crying, she offered her husband his freedom from the marriage.  For better for worse for richer for poorer in sickness and in health.  Those were the vows Ray said and meant.

Ray never hesitated.  He took every step to aid her comfort and health.  He stayed at her side, arranged a way to get her home and on October 26^th Owens Illinois, did a mercy flight bringing Sharon and Ray home.

Ray and his children basically moved into the hospital in their off hours.  Ray arrived after work, the children after homework. 

Touch and go for months, the loss of her leg due to infection, countless operations, shattered bones that would not mend, body cast, circle beds, and then full metal plates covering both femurs and her left arm.

To add to Ray’s emotional burden, in 1969, William Creighton died. Sharon was unable to attend the funeral of the 78 year old gentle soul who had been Ray’s father.

The road back

Ray’s undying support combined with Sharon’s gritty determination went to war against the problems that plagued Sharon.  Told she would never walk, she refused to listen and with Ray’s encouragement she endured endless and painful self imposed rehabilitation.  Always her faithful steady, Ray supported her when she could walk and carried her when she couldn’t.

In late 1970, with Sharon able to hobble along on a wooden leg Ray received word that Michael had cancer.  His leg would have to be amputated.  Ray Sharon and the family gathered in prayer waiting the final test results.  The results were benign!

Life gets brighter

In 1971, Ray and Sharon proudly danced at their oldest daughter’s (Ginny) wedding. 

Ray purchased a mobile home at Silver Lake in the Irish hills and Sharon spent the summers at the lake, while Ray worked in Toledo.  Always an eager tinkerer, Ray helped his son build a hydro plane and together raced the boat up and down the lake in the early morning hours.

Ray supplied a ski boat and gulped when he got the gas bills, but paid them without question.

As always, Ray had a heart of butter melted by his wife and family. A bewildered Ray was stunned when Sharon decided she wanted to sell the lake home and buy a cabin cruiser. 

Most men would be upset when their wives buy a dry rot filled 29 foot cabin cruiser, but Ray was thrilled.  He enjoyed wood working and here was a perfect chance to put his resourcefulness to a big test.  After months of carpentry, mechanical, and electrical work, the boat was “Ginny Lynn” was launched.  Seeking new activities with his best girl and family, Ray joined River View Yacht Club.  He played cards, shot pool, made additions to the club house, went to dances and was having a wonderful time.  He ended up being commodore in 1978.

Grand kids were in tow, he paid for sailing lessons and was able to be generous to a new generation.

Ray decided the family should learn to snowmobile and Sharon was all for it.   Ray found a sit in snowmobile that allowed Sharon to sit safely protected while they raced around the frozen north with friends singing, having fires and generally acting like graying teen agers. 

Ray’s house was party central and the basement barely contained the children and grandchildren.  Ray’s Christmas motto was “there are never enough presents for the kids”

One final cruiser “The Three Feet” was purchased and the good years raced by.

To enjoy retirement, Ray bought a motor home, sold all the old toys and lived a nomadic life.  The couple toured the country and had a wonderful time together stopping in every little picnic area and camp ground that suited their fancy.

In 1994, Ray sold the motor home and bought his first of three homes in Florida.  First a small trailer on Ft Myers Beach was perfect for the couple, but was too crowded for the family and friends who wanted to visit. A bigger home in Thunderbird was a great place to visit. 

Ray and Sharon bought yet another boat and poked around the beaches, saw shows, and explored the area.

In 2004, Ray’s youngest child and family moved down.  Sharon insisted they move closer to their kids so one last home was purchased. Sharon was slowing down and Ray was concerned, but they kept living life to the fullest.

They took many cruises including to Alaska and through the Panama Canal. 

They felt the brunt of a class 4 hurricane, while sheltering their granddaughter, daughter in law and their dog and cat. 

In 2006, Sharon was feeling increasingly tired.  She had had a heart attack and needed open heart surgery.  Despite all of Ray’s tender nursing, Sharon was becoming weaker.  Every day he put a fresh flower by her bed for her to look at.

Ray's love leaves him for a time.

2008 brought more bad news and the Pfaff family was together was together for the last time in this life.  On August 7^th, Sharon died in Ray’s arms.  Her last word in life was “Ray”.

Half of Ray had died but his heart continued to beat.  He was in endless mourning for Sharon who he had been born to marry.  Every day he prayed to join her.  Every day he placed a flower on her bed stand.  He tired his best to be happy for his children, but he existed to take care of Sharon.  He prayed the rosary every day.

January 26^th while walking his dog, he stumbled, fell and dislocated his shoulder.  For only the 4^th time in his life he was in the hospital as a patient.  He was discharged, came home and attempted to heal his body.  His sugar was causing health problems.  He was losing his balance and he no longer felt he should drive.  He had ruptured his colon and went to the hospital for the 5^th time in his life.  The options were grim and he used his best thoughts and reasoning ability.  His thoughts were clear.   He appeared to be healing. He had two risky options.   The risks from surgery were about the same as taking medication.  He chose medication and was monitored closely.

His daughter Ginny flew down to nurse him.  Mike and his wife Diane and family were there everyday. 

On Sunday, February 28th the family had a traditional Thanksgiving turkey dinner.  Ray felt poorly.  Tuesday, he was in a deep sleep, almost a coma. 

Honor thy father. 

Ray had a do not resuscitate order.  Each of his children knew his wishes.  Infection had raced through his body.  Ray was transferred to Hospice.   He rallied enough to speak and know that his wishes were being honored.  He thanked his children. 

Lynn flew down.  Wednesday Ray was able to speak to his children, sister and grandchildren. 

Ray’s last hours.

Ray was never alone while at Hospice.  Ray received last rights on March 4th.  Lynn spent the nights.  On March 6^th at 8 am she called Ginny and Mike to Ray’s side.  Ray’s eyes were open looking at Lynn.  Mike led a rosary while Ray looked in his eyes.  Ginny sat next to Ray, spoke with him and then the children sang two of Sharon’s silly songs.  The Cannibal King and the Little Brown Mouse.  He left the world hearing his children's' voices. 

At 9:10 Ray closed his eyes and peacefully left this world.  He was held lovingly in the arms of his three devoted children.

Ray and Sharon, forever.

Ray was cremated along with pictures of his wife, children and grandchildren.  His ashes were mixed with Sharon's so they would never again be apart.  Some of the ashes were dug into William Creighton's grave, next to where Ray and Sharon are together forever.

Lessons of Rays life

• A Heart Is Not Judged By How Much You Love But By How Much You Are Loved By Others. ( Wizard of Oz)

• Ray is loved best by those who know him best. 

• His children adore him.

• He never did a selfish act that his children ever recall. 

• He lived a Christen life of purity and absolute loyalty to his wife and family.  

• Time and events can destroy physical beauty, but Ray and Sharon together showed the true beauty of the soul.

Each day was truly a gift from God.  God has rejoined Ray with Sharon. 

In the fullness of time, living with God’s grace we shall love Ray and Sharon better after death