An Inspiring Life
It is hard to understand how a broken heart can keep beating. Yet beat it does and life goes on. The pain of our loss. though immense. pales compared to the joy and wonder of an inspiring life. Setting aside our grief, lets celebrate the joys and triumphs of Sharon Mae Pfaff.
Born October 5, 1932, Sharon Mae Ogle was the eldest child. Poor in material wealth, she was rich in spirit. A recipient of the generosity of her grandparents, aunts and uncles she learned the importance of love and support of family.
A tom boy with never give up spunk. Leader of her siblings, king of the hill, toughest wrestler, biggest prankster and tiger like protector of those she loved. A keen observer of life with an unerring sense of what was right and wrong at a young age she firmly charted her path in life.
Her favorite childhood book was “Beautiful Joe” a story about a dog, from the dog’s point of view. For life Sharon was always kind to animals with many loving pets from dogs, rabbits, tortoises, birds and fish.
In 1946 with teen town swinging to tunes by the big bands and singers like Frank Sinatra, a 14 year old Sharon went to a local dance at “Riverside Canteen” and met a tall dark haired, skinny boy named Ray. Though not love at first sight, a 2nd glance and fate was sealed. Ray, like most everyone she ever met found that Sharon was easy to love.
Sharon was a gifted student, excellent singer and could whistle like a bird or as loud as a train. School came easy to this model thin freshman voted “best legs in school”. Instead of using her time studying she dreamed of life with her new boy. The dean of women at Woodward, warned her, “it would never last”…… 62 years later proves that teachers don’t know everything.
A magnetic attraction between the two pulled so strongly that Ray changed schools just to be able to carry her books between classes. At 14 Sharon’s 1947 year book was inscribed with a poem that professed undying devotion from her handsome young boyfriend.
Sharon’s’ Poem
If there ever comes a day
When you don’t remember Ray
Just open up this book
And have another look
I hope this little phrase
Will help bring back the days
When my love I did profess
And ever will confess
Was always on my mind
That’s why I tried to be so kind
As for me I’d like to say
There’ll never come a day
When you will not find me ready to be your ever faithful steady
Ray Pfaff
‘50
Central
Three years later Sharon proved she had the courage of her convictions to elope only 10 days after her 18th birthday. It was an elopement to Angola Indiana. Ray’s parents Ray Sr. and Virginia were both there and Sharon’s mom Leona was present. The newly married couple had tied the knot on Ray’s first paycheck, October 16, 1950.
This is the true measure of love:
When we believe that we alone can love,
that no one could ever have loved so before us,
and that no one will ever love in the same way after us”
Goethe
Money was almost non existent, but Sharon’s love, a little help from grandparents, Rays’ drive for work and careful planning carried them through.
The mermaid the kangaroo and the monkey.
Multiplication of mouths to feed grew faster than paychecks and in only 384 days Sharon gave birth to her first baby, Virginia Lee at the tender age of 19. Having done so well the first time, 16 months later a 20 year old Sharon gave birth a 2nd time to Lynn Louise. A series of miscarriages delayed Sharon’s final child for 2 more years. A boy named Michael Ray. At 22 years old Sharon had her last child and her first major surgery, a hysterectomy.
Steady work was hard to find in Toledo, so in 1962, Sharon sold all of her household treasures to move the family to the promise of a better life in golden California.
Tears at leaving filled the red and white Chevy Nomad as Sharon led her small brood, including one fat beagle, in singing “California here I come”. Gas, at 19.9 cents per gallon, food and lodging were quickly eroding the meager money left from the sales of Sharon’s possessions.
Vast expanses of deserts, there was no air conditioning in cars those days, made the trip hot and boring for young children. Sharon invented games such as “Horses I get them” to pass the time. Silly songs such as “Do your ears hang down”, “The Cannibal King” and “Sweet Hortense” passed the miles.
Always curious about nature Sharon kept a tight grip while looking over the edge of the Grand Canyon to make sure no one played superman for real.
A bout of measles by Lynn made sure the trip was memorable and costly. Sharon found herself in California flat broke. Financial ruin appeared certain when Ray’s job was delayed for two weeks. Sharon was staring at the bleakest financial crisis ever.
Sharon took a job at the telephone company. Ray’s job started. By luck, hard work and a little help along the way from relatives Sharon helped inch back from financial ruin.
Sharon didn’t think children should have to worry about adult problems and made sure that love, games, silly songs made up for lack of material things. The up side of Sharon working was Ginny, Lynn and Mike got to go to Catholic pool everyday all summer in homemade terry cloth bathing suites. Though a great fashion statement, they were best looking dry while sunbathing. In the water they could sink you.
Financial times improved and Sharon was able to buy her first very own home next to a horse ranch. It teamed with wild life. Sometimes it was too close to nature. A tarantula in the garden insured she always wore gloves and a 6 foot long snake striking at car tires of the convertible were the down side. Soon there was a small children’s zoo which topped out at 40 pigeons, 4 rabbits, a guinea pig, hamsters, gerbil and giant desert tortoise and of course the fat beagle.
Sharon was an avid bird watcher. She always had books to help her identify various species. A properly positioned mirror allowed Sharon to watch a mother bird nest in a decorative bird cage fastened to the window overhang. From laying eggs, to hatching to feeding to final flight away, Sharon watched the miracle of nature.
If I
can stop one Heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one Pain
Or help one fainting Robin
Unto his Nest again
I shall not live in Vain.
Emily Dickenson
Then there came a house guest. Sharon’s little sister graduated and at 18 was invited to California to go to college. The converted attached garage was Gayle’s bachelorette apartment. Having a built in babysitter allowed Sharon the peace of mind to do some socializing.
A famous prank by Sharon occurred in 1965 at an adult rip roaring Halloween party. Dressed as Frankenstein and bride, leaving the booze gushing party, Sharon propped an inebriated Frankenstein against a wall, nudged an unsuspecting wolf man into the pool and managed to sneak away, Frankenstein in tow, before wolf man figured out who did it.
California was a wonderful and happy time. Sharon toured the petrified forest, had thanksgiving dinner in a desert, stood on top of mountains, saw the wonder of Yosemite, experienced the power of the Pacific Ocean, enjoyed the attractions of Disney Land, Knots Berry Farm, and a hundred other sights sounds and experiences. She saw her favorite Singer, Dean Martin in Las Vegas.
Finances, always fragile at best were improving and a promotion for Ray meant a move. In 1967 Sharon sold her home to be transferred back to Toledo.
Though finances were growing stronger, so were the needs of teen age daughters an active son and aging grandparents. Daisy Ogle, Sharon’s grandmother, had been a loving refuge in Sharon’s young life. The grandmother who had been so generous to her as a child now found a home with Sharon. Daisy Ogle fitted her whole life into a small bedroom for a short time and then she was gone.
The Crucible
Emotionally exhausted Sharon, her mother and brother took the family VW bus for a color tour of New England. At 35 Sharon was at the peak of her beauty, untiring, still the best wrestler in the family, quick, energetic and never walked when she could run.
On September 23, Ray read a letter to Ginny, Lynn and Mike about what a good time Sharon was having, the cool streams with fish she was sure she could catch if only she had a pole, the bridges, rocks and how beautiful it all was.
In the evening of September 24, 1968 Ray picked up the phone and received word that changed our lives forever. Sharon suffered a horrific auto accident. Her life was in great peril and she may not live.
Sharon died at the scene. She saw the light, followed the tunnel and met Jesus. Sharon again proved she had the strongest of wills and strength of purpose. 3 teenage children and a husband needed her. Sharon literally walked away from heaven out of devotion to her family. Sharon had traded heaven for a taste of hell.
Crushed and trapped after going down an embankment near Bangor Main, the car hit an ancient tree directly on her side. Only Leona Ogle struggling to the top of the embankment saved them. A small town assembled to try and save the lives of three visitors. Sharon received last rights and dozens of men had to transport her broken body hand over hand up to the highway.
Touch and go for months, the loss of her leg due to infection, countless operations, shattered bones that would not mend, body cast, circle beds, and then full metal plates covering both femurs and her left arm were the hell she had chosen for love of her family.
Told she would never walk, she refused to listen. Though she never ran again, she managed to walk, dance, snowmobile, boat, wrestle (and win).
In 1971, Sharon proudly danced at her oldest daughter’s (Ginny) wedding then flew alone in 1972 to Germany to visit her pregnant daughter.
She also danced at her 2nd daughter’s (Lynn) wedding.
Grandchildren appeared one two three four….. Always eager to spend time with children Sharon was a willing babysitter, still the best wrestler, singer and teacher of silly songs, game player and prankster.
Though she couldn’t swim, she floated like a cork and much to the surprise of everyone decided that instead of having a small ski boat on a protected lake, she wanted to trade them for a cabin cruiser to venture forth on the great lakes.
A bewildered Ray, knowing his fate was again sealed, became the Captain of a dry rot filled Chris Craft. Endless carpentry work later the Ginny Lynn was launched with temperamental shifters that required Sharon to run from side to side of the boat tapping the reluctant shifters with a hammer to change into and out of gear during docking. Family and friends spent hours catching fish in all kinds of weather on this simple craft. From stifling heat to icy drizzle the Ginny Lynn was the gathering place.
With her summers filled with activities, Sharon needed a winter past time. What better way to spend long winter nights than on the back of a roaring snowmobile? Normal snowmobiles allowed Sharon’s wooden leg to fall off and posed a risk too great even for Sharon to accept, so Ray found a sit in model and Sharon was off frolicking in the backwoods with friends, turning a cold white world into thrilling nature trails and a few stops at taverns along the way.
Joining River View Yacht club, life became a social whirl. Sharon’s mind, so good in school work allowed her to dominate at Euchre card tournaments. Her good nature and the natural admiration for overcoming so many adversities in such good humor made her the belle of the ball at many parties. Grandchildren in tow, Sharon, was having a great time.
Sharon decided that she wanted a better boat, so the Ginny Lynn was sold and house boat purchased, Again named Ginny Lynn. Club hopping became the norm every summer weekend and Sharon was hopping too. Over boats up and down docs, club dances, officer duties…….
The only way to marry off the last child was to move, so in 1980 the small family home on 283rd street was sold to Mike. The bride to be, knew and had seen Sharon’s pranks did not believe it when Sharon told her the home had been hit by lightning the first day! In this case Sharon was telling the truth.
A growing and close group of grandchildren needed room to play, spend the night and have parties. A large circular pool, common in Sharon’s homes, was the center of her family’s life. The basement was party headquarters. Party Party Party was the watch word as the number of grandchildren finally peaked at 10.
One final boat the “3 Feet” was purchased and years raced by.
Retirement was looming and Sharon was itching to see even more of the world. A series of Motor Homes replaced boats so Sharon and Ray began a semi Gypsy life. Grandchildren were now having children and the great grandmother was determined to be great at it. Always eager to hold a baby, Sharon taught the new generation to sing silly songs and earned the nickname “The Singing Grandma”.
Sharon finally finished the color tour in New England, interrupted by the auto accident and ate Lobster every day just because she could.
Not one to give up on boating, Sharon took a series of world cruises including a month long tour of Alaska where she saw whales, the northern Lights, eagles in flight and added many new birds to her life time list. She stopped at Caribbean Islands ate at fine restaurants, crossed into the Pacific Ocean via the Panama Canal, saw the stars of the ocean at night, enjoyed shows…..
In 1994 Sharon purchased a small trailer on Ft Myers Beach. The home in this close nit community was barely big enough for the retired couple and too tight to accommodate children and grandchildren who were sneaking down from the frozen north.
A mobile home in Thunderbird Park was perfect since at least 5 visitors could bunk there and enjoy the great pool and club house. Again Sharon dominated the Euchre tournaments while playing hostess to large club house parties. A revolving door of visitors kept Sharon busy entertaining.
A whole new area to explore, Sharon toured the everglades, visited both coasts, stayed at the Keys watched manatee, eagles, osprey, alligators…….. and of course migrating robins.
In 2004 Sharon moved homes once more to Cape Coral to be by her youngest child and family. Slowing down a little Sharon still managed to cruise, endure a class 4 hurricane, join a new residents club, continue running the Red Hat Club” eat out often and entertain northern visitors. She traded live Euchre for online games - still winning.
Feeling poorly in 2006 Sharon had open heart surgery to repair damage from a heart attack. Health was becoming a limiting factor in her life but her spirit and love of life were strong.
2008 was a year of more illness. Failing health and age began to take an increasing toll and in April of 2008 the Mermaid, Kangaroo and Monkey reunited the Pfaff family completely for the last time. Sharon was grateful, happy and contented. An all too brief rally allowed Sharon to enjoy another precious 3 months with her family and friends.
Sharon’s last week brought her final visitors. Her daughter Virginia flew down with great grandchild Caitlin. Her sister Gayle became her houseguest one last time and oldest granddaughter Laura flew in to comfort her final days. Sharon’s friends had a great visit with her on August 4th.
August 5th, her strength spent, Sharon dropped into a deep sleep and then a coma.
August 6th Hospice transferred Sharon to their facilities but a family member stayed with her 100% of her remaining time holding her hand and talking to her.
August 7th would be Sharon’s last day. She received last rights in the morning. She was peaceful and comfortable. Her hair was stroked. She was told she was loved.
Sharon’s last hour.
Mike was keeping vigil when at 8:00 p.m. Sharon opened her hazel eyes. Mike stroked her hair, spoke softly to her, prayed, sang a few silly songs and recited two of her favorite poem.
How do
I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Mike then recited Sharon’s own poem.
If there ever comes a day
When you don’t remember Ray
Just open up this book
And have another look
I hope this little phrase
Will help bring back the days
When my love I did profess
And ever will confess
Was always on my mind
That’s why I tried to be so kind
As for me I’d like to say
There’ll never come a day
When you will not find me ready to be your ever faithful steady
Ray Pfaff
When the poem was finished she said her last word in life “Ray”
She had called and again her ever faithful steady responded. At 9:00 Ray walked into the room and held Sharon in his arms. Daughter Ginny, granddaughter Laura and son Mike heard Ray whisper Sharon’s poem one last time to her.
Held in two loving arms where she belonged, Sharon died at 9:12. Her iron will let her wait for love’s last moment before she left.
By living, rather than going with Jesus all those years ago, Sharon gave her family and friends an additional 14,593 days with her. Each day was truly a gift from God. God has taken her back. In the fullness of time, living with God’s grace we shall but love her better after death.